Author Archives: Elissa Schappell

Elissa Schappell

About Elissa Schappell

Elissa Schappell is the author of the short story collections Blueprints for Building Better Girls and Use Me. A former senior editor of The Paris Review, she is the co-founder and editor-at-large of Tin House magazine. She lives in Brooklyn with her family.
loser

Top GOP Excuses for Romney Being a Loser

Here’s what Elissa Schappell expects to hear from the Republican spin doctors. Continue reading

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"I will be the flaaaaaame..."

Mitt-lympics!

A President Romney would run the U S of A in the same way he ran the Olympics. Get ready for some Games! Continue reading

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GOP Playlist

Elissa Schappell gets behind the turntables and DJ’s the GOP Convention. Continue reading

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Romdacity

The Church of Latter-Day Saints has posthumously baptized millions of “gentiles,” including Anne Frank, Albert Einstein, Adolph Hitler, and Barack Obama’s mother. Elissa Schappell would like someone to grill Mitt Romney on this. Continue reading

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The Wombsday Machine, and Other Alternatives to the V-Word

In which Elissa Schappell proposes some euphemisms Michigan Republicans can use for the word “vagina.” Continue reading

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Drink Up / All Apologies

In which Elissa Schappell suggests that Mitt Romney’s pranks are about as funny as an ad for Belvedere vodka. Continue reading

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Ode to Sex Ed, or, Miss Teen Mom USA Probably Lives in Mississippi

Teen pregnancy rates are at their lowest in thirty years, the lowest they’ve been since 1940 when the CDC started keeping count. So why does the GOP keep pushing “Abstinence-Only” education? Elissa Schappell investigates. Continue reading

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We weren't aware it was a contest.

The Mommy Wars

In which Elissa Schappell, responding to the provocative cover of TIME magazine, gets her Mom on. Continue reading

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Twit Rombot 2012

In which Elissa Schappell dismantles the GOP cyborg known colloquially as “Mitt Romney.” Continue reading

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It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged that a Woman in Possession of a Good Uterus Must be in Want of a Man to Regulate it

In which Elissa Schappell contemplates the latest right-wing salvos in the War Against Women. Continue reading

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