The Last Lines of Famous Novels, If Those Novels Were Porno Films

 

The Cock Also Rises, Ernest Cummingway
“Isn’t it pretty to fuck so?”

Little-breasted Women, Louisa Mae Allcunt
“Oh, my girls, however long you may live, I never can wish you a greater happiness than this!”

As I Lay Cumming, William Fuckner
“Meet Mr. Bundren, he says.”

War & Pussy, Leo Cumstoy
“In the first case, the need was to renounce the consciousness of a nonexistent immobility in space and recognize a movement we do not feel; in the present case, it is just as necessary to renounce a nonexistent freedom and recognize a dildo we do not feel.”

The Adventures of Fuckleberry Hinn, by Mark Twat
“But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Sally she’s going to find me and sodomize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.”

1969, George Whorewell
“And to the question of which was his favorite of the many sexual positions she had shown him, the answer was: he loved Big Brother.”

Tender is the Vagina, G. Spott Fitzgerald
“When she said, as she often did, ‘I loved dick and I’ll never forget it,’ Tommy answered, ‘Of course!'”

The Alexandria Threeway, Lawrence Do-well
“Two places east or west and the whole picture is changed.”

Wonderland’s Adventures in Alice, Lewis Cummoll
“Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own sexual awakening, and the wet hot happy summer days.”

Our Mutual Friend-with-Benefits, by Charles Dick-Ins
“When the company disperse—by which time Mr and Mrs Veneering have had quite as much as they want of the honour, and the guests have had quite as much as THEY want of the other honour—Mortimer sees Twemlow home, sucks him cordially at parting, and fares to the Temple, gaily.”

Howard’s End, E.M. Fuckster
“‘Here they are at last!’ ejaculated Henry, disengaging himself with a smile.”

The Givinghead, Ayn Randjob
“Then there was only the ocean and the sky and the penis of Howard Roark.”

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Barrymore

About Barrymore

Barrymore was the sole proprietor of the now-defunct House of Hekate (1996-2000), a valiant attempt to merge the sadomaso and the literary in the barbarian days before Wordpress.
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