Verse Comes to Worst: 9 Very Short Poems About Trump/Russia Collaborators

1. AMBASSADOR KISLYAK
The Russian with a thousand chins
Turns the Manaforts and Flynns.
Trump deflects, and Spicer spins,
And we all lose, and Putin wins.

2. ATTORNEY GENERAL
Sessions: Nazi Keebler elf,
A nobler man would kill himself.
Bigotry is one big reason.
An even bigger one is treason.

3. CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN
Manafort, O Manafort,
O vile dictators’ chum,
You are as foul as Voldemort,
Your daughters think you’re scum.

4. SON-IN-LAW
Jared, Jared, scumlord prince,
Your mere existence makes me wince,
Perhaps Trump set you up to fail,
But you will join your dad in jail.

5. PERSONAL ATTORNEY
Michael Cohen, where you goin’?
……………………Prague?
Michael Cohen, you be knowin’,
The tail wags the dog.

6. DISGRACED NATSEC ADVISER
Mike Flynn! Mike Flynn! You sold us out
To the Russians and the Turks!
Mike Flynn! Mike Flynn! You sold us out
To the autocratic jerks.
Is treason what Trump meant by “winning?”
Let’s call life in prison “Flynning.”

7. SALTY OLD ATTACK DOG
Roger Stone, who fucks the rats,
And sports the ugly Nixon tats,
From thou collusion basely stems,
Through Guccifer 2.0 DMs.

8. CHAMPAGNE POPSICLE SUCKER
Ivanka cares about the earth.
That’s what Ivanka said.
Ivanka had one job to do.
Ivanka crapped the bed.
Ivanka seems like she’s so nice,
Ivanka teems with poise,
Ivanka’s just as odious
As The Donald’s boys.

9. PRESS SECRETARY
Sean Spicer:
Be nicer!

Billy The Poet

About Billy The Poet

J. Edgar Nation must die.
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