Category Archives: Current Events

Dah, Donald: Russian Blood Money and the FBI’s Case Against Trump

There is no “alternative fact” that can spin the very real possibility that Donald J. Trump will die in federal prison, alone. Continue reading

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Trump’s Inaugural Address: Unabridged Version

The complete text of the first draft of the address, translated from the original Russian. Continue reading

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Trump is a Fascist, This is a Coup, I’m Not Normalizing It on Facebook

In which Russian prostitutes pee all over your precious safe space. Continue reading

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Playing the Donald Trump Game

I noticed a phenomenon during this election. Vulnerable, marginalized people supporting Donald Trump—or at least claiming publicly to support Donald Trump. Continue reading

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What Are the Odds of Donald Trump Serving All Four Years of His Term?

Calculating the odds of political survival of the unfittest. Continue reading

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Trump’s Cabinet Picks are Contestants on New Season of The Apprentice

Reality TV has merged with realpolitik. Continue reading

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Can We Pay Donald Trump to Step Down?

Would Donald Trump accept the largest golden parachute of all time to step down? Continue reading

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President Rapist: Women Under Trump

Never has a photograph of two women having tea been so terrifying. Continue reading

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Help Us, Barack Obama. You’re Our Only Hope.

In which President Obama has the “I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane” moment we’ve been waiting for for eight years, and gives the speech we all want to hear. Continue reading

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