Category Archives: Humor

Deaths of Distant Friends (or, John Updike Fucking Rocks)

Kurt Baumeister and John Updike met once upon a time. The event probably wasn’t memorable for Updike, but it was for Baumeister. Continue reading

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Found in Translation (50 Things You Don’t Mean and What You Really Do)

You said it but you absolutely don’t mean it. Continue reading

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A BRIEF HISTORY OF MY EXPERIENCES IN THE PUBLIC RESTROOMS OF NORTH CAROLINA

During the Great North American Blizzard of 1996, while I was stranded for several days in the Greyhound Bus Terminal in Charlotte, I masturbated out of boredom to an L.L. Bean catalogue. Continue reading

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American flag against blue sky

Why America Should Ban Elections

“As long as the Establishment holds, the spectacle’s too much fun to look away, right? Well, there are times, like Trump 2016, when we should look away. We must permanently sever the circus spectacle from democracy.” Continue reading

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Welcome Thieves: An Appreciation

Our own Robert Burke Warren waxes on about Sean Beaudoin’s stellar, rockin’ Welcome Thieves. Continue reading

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The Hippie Angel

Robert Burke Warren’s Yuletide of death, porn, and a hippie angel. Continue reading

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My Audition for the Ramones

Music editor Robert Burke Warren takes us back to his 1989 audition for The Ramones. Continue reading

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The Bitter and the Sweet: My Upgrade to Windows 10

   I. Like an electronic Benjamin Button, like a newborn at death’s door, my laptop was only a year old but it was already feeling its age. The sadness of that statement shouldn’t be lost on you, nor should the … Continue reading

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The Job of a Lifetime

Former Christmas tree salesman/child wrangler/fire escape painter Robert Burke Warren realizes the day jobs are a significant part of the story. Continue reading

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