Hope Springs Eternal: 33 Short Responses to Obama’s DNC Speech

 

Barack Obama’s speech last night at the DNC inspired 9 million tweets—52,757 a minute, a new Twitter record. Here are 33 responses to the President’s speech, mostly culled from those 9,000,000 140-character dispatches:

"You did that!"

 

1. I can’t watch the DNC. It’s like watching the Globetrotters pretend there’s a chance of losing to the Generals.
—Joe Daly

2. Call me Citizen.
—A.N. Devers

3. Daaaamn. Obama just simultaneously Denzel’d, McQueen’d & Jagger’d.
—Patton Oswalt

4. Fox News hated his speech. Krauthammer says it was the worst speech he’s ever seen Obama give. So basically, Obama nailed it.
—Ted McCagg

5. Eh, Romney’s a better speaker.
—Michael Ian Black

6. Romney IS NOT new to foreign policy. He’s been keeping money in Bermuda and the Cayman Islands for years.
—Chris Rock

7. You’re the reason Batman fixed his spine and climbed out of that weird prison in Dark Knight Rises, wherever that was. You did that.
—Dave Itzkoff

8. The best part of any convention is the confetti bukkake.
—Nina Bargiel

9. The only difference between the Democratic and Republican conventions is the Democratic one is being held in the twenty-first century.
—Andy Borowtiz

10. It would have been better had he not spoken. Seriously. Like an aging rock star, President Obama, in a downsized venue, with downsized proposal and spewing downsized rhetoric only reminded us how far he has fallen from the heady days of 2008.
—Jennifer Rubin

11. Pres Obama humbly asked for votes. Mitt never bothered to do that. He just hopes Kochs will buy them.
—Steve Weinsten

12. I betcha everyone in Warroad,MN just pooped their pants.
—Jodi Chromey

13. Good. I was waiting to hear about marriage and women’s rights.
—Geri Fletcher

14. Notice how the President switches off using male AND female pronouns, male AND female examples.
—Shelby Knox

15. Notice how when referring to a child, Obama uses the default pronoun “her.”
—Amanda Bower

16. Michelle Obama is the First Lady of reaction shots.
—Nathan Thornburgh

17. The faces Barack and Michelle Obama make at each other are adorbs.
—Ezra Klein

18. To say politics is ALL bullshit, as many now do, is to admit a lazy and cowardly unwillingness to care about anything.
—John Perry Barlow

19. I love that they’re advertising a movie about Clint Eastwood being senile during the DNC.
—John Wessling

20. Answer this question for me. Why would someone who lives in a federally subsized housing complex vote for Mitt Romney?
—Tom Gualtieri

21. And he asks for our vote. Vote? You can have my kidney. And here’s my credit card number.
—Elissa Schappell

22. You are the ones we’ve been waiting for. And “You did that” is a nice retort to “You didn’t build that.”
—Andrew Sullivan

23. Obama’s implicit message during these tales of generosity and sacrifice: my opponent has selfishly helped himself.
—Jodi Kantor

24. The clearest demonstration of Obama’s rhetorical prowess is he can deliver such an amazing address without getting teary-eyed.
—Will Entrekin

25. Aaron Sorkin is somewhere, furiously working on a ponderous Newsroom script, saying, “That’s right, motherfuckers.”
—Roxane Gay

26. I love that President Obama said that gays are not the cause of your problems…and terribly sad that in 2012 he had to.
—Tod Goldberg

27. A moment of silence for all those who have to pretend to be impressed by Mitt Romney, please.
—The Daily Kos

28. An unapologetic Democratic convention. Feels like an oxymoron, but it happened.
—Chris Bowers

29. The election boils down to Citizens United vs. Citizens, united.
—Greg Olear

30. The news says Mitt refused to watch O’s speech, which to me is like pretending that bills magically don’t exist if you put them in a drawer.
—Rachel Syme

31. He started slowly, but got better — then great. Maybe that can be the case with his presidency too?
—Darin Strauss

32. Good speech, Mr. President. Now please stop using drones to kill people.
—Matthew Baldwin

33. 29 dead in a little over a week. Nearly 200 gone this year. The White House is stepping up its campaign of drone attacks in Yemen, with four strikes in eight days. And not even the slaying of 10 civilians over the weekend seems to have slowed the pace in the United States’ secretive, undeclared war.
—Lori Price

 

 

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